Wednesday, April 27, 2011

So Much to Tell

From the Star

So... it has been a while since I have written. In the past couple months I have had just so much on my plate from planning my wedding (that, by the way, is going to be on February 18th, 2012! Yeah!) to the FCAT's and just wondering how my students did and praying each night that they all tried their best... and passed! I have been wondering if I will be teaching intermediate again or if I will even have a job for next year. This has been a stressful time and I am quite overwhelmed.

I left off last time with a challenging student that I have been working with and let's just say that not much has been working. He has his days and his moments when he shows that he understands his behaviors and why they are wrong. But... 75% of the time his behaviors are very defiant and he has no remorse. I am working now to come up with a plan to help him find alternatives to the behaviors that he is displaying in class. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with behaviors that are defiant, my ears are open. I am really concerned about this child because I feel that his behaviors are progressing and he seems to care less and less about what he is doing. I have found that when I give positive reinforcement that it often has a negative effect. It usually causes him to have an outburst. I am at a loss for what I can do but I refuse to give up on this child because I know that he needs me. I have set a goal for the end of the year to help this child find alternatives to his actions.

Now let's talk about the FCAT's and what my future looks like for next year. As far as the FCAT is concerned I feel confident that most of the students in my classroom did their best. For a 3rd grade teacher, that is all that I can ask. I am very proud of my students no matter how their scores come out on the FCAT. I have seen the gains with my own eyes and know that they have made progress this year. I will have to say that I am very glad that the FCATs are over because for whatever reason, it is a very stressful and uptight time, even though as teachers there is nothing that we can do at that point. It's hard for me to believe that I am actually going to be paid for how my student did in a single week. I kind of feel like it says that it doesn't matter what my students do throughout the year and the progress that they make both emotionally and academically, but instead I am judged on what kinds of test takers they are and how they perform on tests in a single week. I am going to stop there because this is not my expertise and complaining about the situation isn't going to change a thing. I am just going to push my students to learn to their full potentials and hope for the best.

I am still not sure if I am going to have a job next year or what I will be teaching. I know as a teacher that I can teach any grade and give my all to the students, but I just feel that my heart is not in the intermediate grades. They always say that you go to school for something that you have a passion for and love to do and so that is what I did. I went to school to become a Pre-K Special Education teacher and for the past 2 years I have been out of my field. I have been in Intermediate Regular Education. While my last two years have been great and I have learned so much more than I could have even imagined, I can truly say that I am ready to be with the little ones. I have found that intermediate is really not for me and my heart yearns for the little learners. With this being said, if I am in intermediate again I will teach the students and give my students my all, including my heart. I am very passionate about what I do and will make it work in whatever grade I end up next year. Till next time...